The "Goofiest" Of All Fishing Trips

There are a lot of places in this world where one can go to find solace, peace and tranquility while wetting a line for fish.

walt Disney World in Orlando Florida is not the first place that comes to mind.

Nonetheless, right there beneath the shadow of the Magic Kingdom, amongst wide-eyed roller coaster riders, a stones throw from Tinkerbell's safety harness, exists one of the prime Largemouth Bass fishing waters you will find anywhere.

Remote? No.

Pristine? Hardly.

Filled with hungry fat Largemouth Bass....YES!!

I'm not really sure what compelled me to book a two hour disney Bass fishing adventure.

I don't know if I was curious that possibly a rather large mouse might show up at the dock with a fishing vest full of sponsor patches,and a big wad of chew between his cheek and gum. Or, if mechanical alligators might raise up out of the water- jaws agape-while I reached down to pick up my bass by the lips. Or, if perhaps cannonballs might be landing dangerously close to the boat as we all sang yo-ho yo- ho a fisherman's life for me....

Or maybe, just maybe, after wandering around the Magic Kingdom, animal Kingdom, Epcot and MGM for four days, bouncing off of an endless stream of six year olds with attached parents in tow,eating space burgers,frontier burgers,Yeti burgers, and trying to figure out how to amuse myself in line for 60 minutes while waiting to have the POOH scared out of me.....maybe, just maybe I thought that I might just find a few hours away from the hustle,bustle and silent freakish stares of Chip and Dale.

I must admit, as we were making plans for a family trip to the mother of all amusement parks, I had spotted this fishing adventure on the disney website. As my wife locked us in for five days of "Disney Magic", I writhed in agony wondering just how many princesses there must be if it takes five days to see them.My six year old daughter was obviously thrilled.

Being a card carrying member of the "I want to go fishing club", I figured this may be my only opportunity to sneak in some fishing on this trip. And if you have ever looked at a map of the Orlando area, you will see that this is an abundant area of lakes, not to mention short drives to the coastal areas and ocean fishing galore. In other words it was killing me, knowing how close to great fishing I was--but unless they had trout swimming along the waterways of Splash Mountain--I was never going to see any of them.

So, after the third day of posing for pictures with oversized rodents, dragons, and perky princesses, I called the disney central reservation line for "active fun"-as if screaming and doing isometric hand grips on Expedition Everest, or ogling Pocahontas is not considered active fun!- and booked a bass fishing trip for the next morning. Evidently, the line and waiting period for the "largemouth bass ride" is not nearly as long as the wait for Peter Pan, because the nice girl (I think it may have been Cinderella) was able to get us a fishing trip out of the Contemporary Hotel Marina with no problem.

Didn't even have to get a FastPass!!

best of all, we didn't have to get up early. We were scheduled for 10:00 a.m.

Like all disney events and productions, great attention to detail and planning is done to insure the perfect family experience. That is why catch and release is the practice on Seven Seas lagoon and Bay lake, (the two primary fishing waters at walt Disney World) and probably a big reason for the reliable fishery.

AND like all disney adventures and productions, the perfect family experience has it's price.

$230.00 for two hours of fishing!

That's a lotta rubber worms.

In fairness, that is the rental of the boat and the boat can handle up to five fishermen(four if they are wearing mouse ears.) so really you technically can get it under fifty bucks a person.

AND like all Disney events-it was well worth the price to see the excited look on my daughters face when I told her we were gonna catch us " a messa bass".

Most of the guides showed up at the marina a few minutes early and looked like they had part time roles on The animal Planet. The boats were spotless, fully equipped and ready to go. Since there were three of us and we had a "little one" on board, we were given a pontoon type boat rather than a bass boat.

I expected Steve the crocodile hunter to be our guide for the day,but as it turned out our guide was to be a lovely lady by the name of Holly.

Guess Goofy had the day off.

After quick introductions we were on board our Tracker and on our way.

Now, for those of you that have read any previous articles I have written, you will quickly realize that I was going fishing with three members of the "e-factor" estrogen fishing society. If you are not familiar with this secret society, let's just say that I had about as much of a chance of outfishing these ladies as getting a date with Ariel or Snow White.

As we motored our way out of the natural waters of Bay lake and into the man made Seven Seas lagoon, Holly, a veteran of over twenty years in the Disney corporation, gave us some interesting facts on her background with disney World. Having spent the first part of her career with disney in "guest relations" she had mainly handled "guest" complaints, so the fishing guide position she had held for the last eight years was a welcome relief. She had grown up in Louisiana fishing for bass, and she was well qualified for obviously one of the most coveted positions that the 70,000 or so folks on the disney World payroll could have. Spending your day out on the water away from the crowds certainly seemed a better tour of duty, than trying to manipulate a pen with oversized paws inside a large fur coat in 90 degree weather.

But that's just me.

We motored on by the big ferry boat loaded with another group of guests ready for a d-day like assault on the Magic Kingdom, and pulled up to the shallows near an island. I knew I would have to catch my fish early on, before the "estrogen" effect would occur and I would be relegated to camera duty.

Even though catch and release is the practice on these waters, live bait is still the bait of choice. Being a steelhead and salmon fisherman from Oregon I was unfamiliar with the little "shiners" that they use down south to produce the big bass, but as if on cue, within a minute of tossing the little fellar into the drink I had my first largemouth on--and it was a nice one too!

I hoisted a chubby four pound bass onto the boat, and as I grabbed him by the "largemouth" I made sure he was real, and not some animatronic disney bass that was about to break into a chorus of "You ain't nothin' but a hound dog".

Pretty soon Sara, my daughter, had her first bass on and mom was right behind her with her first bass.

Dang, the estrogen had kicked in early.

As promised, disney had already delivered a great family experience and since most of the fish caught by my daughter had been crappie sized fish out of her Grandpa's pond, the look of excitement that Sara had on her face when she hoisted her first largemouth bass was well worth the price of admission.

We each caught several more bass with the biggest running close to five pounds.

Sara, like any six year old, quickly lost interest in the labor involved with catching fish, and turned her interest to the "shiners" swimming in the live well.

I guess you might say she took a shine to 'em!! HA!

Anyway, she became are unofficial "shiner" go-fer, and kept the little fish in shape, by chasing them around trying to catch them with her bare hands.

After a short dry spell, we headed off to other "pristine" waters. This spot happened to be at the ferry landing, where all the people line up for the d-day assault.Under the watchful eyes of hundreds of disney patrons and a couple of Herons and Egrets, we went bass fishing. After landing another big chubby in front of the bored line sitters, they all let out a loud cheer and like the shy fella I am, I hoisted my trophy like I had just won Bassmaster's $10,000 first prize on ESPN.

Unfortunately, one of our released fish didn't fare to well and soon was floating belly up near the ferry boat. A Heron made a heroic effort to hoist the big fish from the waters, but the two pound fish was too much and he retired back to his front row seat on shore.

Although there is always going to be a certain amount of attrition, even when you are catching and releasing fish, I think the disney folks would just as soon their bass went belly up away from the gates to Fantasyland, and we soon had a radio call from Holly's boss telling us to move from the docks-because it was too windy.

Seemed odd since there was only the faintest of breezes in the air.

We still felt bad, and certainly didn't want to be responsible for kids being permanently scarred for life, so we moved.

Not that disney does anything to ever permanently scar kids!!??

It was just as well, because by now my wife was using her unfair estrogen advantage to outfish me two to one, which was even noticed by the ferry boat- line operator, who made it a point to walk over to our boat and tell us of his keen observation.

Darn estrogen.

By the time we motored our way back into Bay lake our "two hour cruise" was pretty much at an end. Of course there was still the matter of settling up on the bill, and receiving a nice complimentary subscription to a bass fishing magazine---which of course happens to be owned by Disney.....

As we left the boat and headed back into the perfect world of magical princesses, long lines, and the ever present gift shops, I couldn't help but think that I had just got off the best ride at Disney World.

Well-except for the Mad Tea Cups....

A.J. Klott Author, writer of fishing humor,and "fly tack" peddler.A.J. writes about the people,characters and modern day events that surround the fishing world. His first book is now out and being sold out of the back of a 1976 Opal Cadet.Coming to your town soon. If you need a laugh or a fun gift, visit his website at: http://www.twoguyswithflys.com

The Zone Yoga

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Move Your Body, Move Your Mind

Keep your knees locked! Hold your arms straight until they hurt! If you feel pain, good for yousomething is happening

Ah, the soft and tender words coming from my militant hot-yoga instructornot exactly soothing. Isnt yoga supposed to be relaxing, you ask? Not the kind Ive been doing for a while. I prefer to think of it as bootcamp yoga: an hour and a half dripping with sweat in a very hot room, often practising next to someone who had too much garlic at dinner last night, contorting myself into positions that make my head want to explode, while feeling murderous towards the teacherwelcome to my form of heaven.

Do I enjoy torturing myself this way three times a week come rain or shine? NO. Do I often get into the hot room and want to run out the door screaming? YES. Do I pay a lot of money to go through this torture? YES. Am I glad I do it? ABSOLUTELY.

You may be scratching your head in confusion at this point and I totally understand why. But when I tell you the real reason I do this exercise regime three times a week religiously, suffering and cursing the entire time, youll understand where Im coming from.

At the age of 36, Ive gotten a bit wiser when it comes to health and taking care of my body. Gone are the days of starving myself or overeating and then punishing myself through exercise. Believe it or not, I absolutely love exercise now. Not because it makes me skinny (nothing will do that due to having the pulchritudinous physique of my shapely Jewish female ancestors which I have come to learn is purely genetic). However, regular exercise does keep me at a healthy weight for my size and stops me from obsessing about my body and food (except during PMS when my body and mind are overtaken by some form of alien life who temporarily makes me think that chocolate is in itself, an entire food group and that excess water in the tummy area is a must-have).

The reason I love exercise now is how it makes me feel AFTERWARDS. You see, after I leave an exercise class, I am transformed. No matter how crappy, miserable, sad, or angry I am feeling before I exercise, for some incredible reason, I consistently feel energized, positive, relaxed, and peaceful after a good workout. And so do many of the women I know. Now we know from brain research that exercise boosts serotonin, the feel-good neurotransmitter in our brains, increases endorphins; chemicals in our bodies that make us feel happy and neighbourly, and relaxes our muscles, which in turn, relaxes our mind.

I encourage all of my clients to follow a regular, three-times-a-week exercise regime of their choice as the first step in improving their mental health. I have not met one single person who has adopted this healthy lifestyle habit who has not greatly improved their mood, productivity, and reduced stress in their lives as a result. I know we hear it over and over again about exercising regularly, but being the stubborn self-willed person that I am, I have finally accepted that other people are wise when they espouse this concept and its not a conspiracy to make me conform to some strange cult.

I have witnessed countless womens mental health improve vastly from including regular exercise into their lives including recovery from depression, anxiety, disordered eating, post-traumatic stress, and many other issues.

I especially recommend regular exercise for women who are suffering from the effects of being in any kind of abusive relationship where they were systematically stripped of their dignity, sense of worth, and faith in their abilities. Vigorous exercise in this case, especially something like kickboxing, can be extremely empowering and help you to overcome feelings of worthlessness and toxic shame. Through the act of exercising, you can transform a negative self-concept into one of power, strength, and awareness of your abilities and gifts.

In my therapy practise, I have discovered that many women are weighed down with depression or anxiety and that what is often underneath those labels is suppressed anger and/or grief. Being in our bodies and expressing ourselves physically through regular exercise is a fabulous way of releasing emotions that have been stuffed down for a long time.

exercise can be extremely helpful in moving our feelings up and out of the body and can thus free up energy and leave us feeling lighter, stronger, and more peaceful and in control of our destiny.

There are so many wonderful, exhilarating, and enjoyable forms of exercise out there. Check them all out, try them out, and find the one(s) that you feel the best doing. Experiment and have fun!

To end, Ill leave you with some very inspiring reasons for working out regularly

Esthers Top Ten Reasons to exercise regularly:

1.Time for yourself- you get to leave all the people and things that you feel responsible for behind for a time and just focus on yourself

2.Lifts your mood and helps you feel more positive

3.Stops you from obsessing about your body size and shape (in most cases- if you are really prone to this, try a form of exercise that focuses on how you feel on the inside; not how you look on the outside- focus on becoming strong and feeling good emotionally).

4.Gives you a sense of routine which can help you feel more grounded emotionally

5.Gets you out into the world connecting with people you may not meet otherwise

6.Increases your self-esteem as you grow stronger and feel fit

7.Normalizes metabolism which helps you gain or lose weight depending on what is best for your body

8.Improves your sex drive- not a bad side effect, huh?

9.Makes you nicer to be around because youre happier, healthier, and calmer

10.Helps you get out of your head and into your body; this is great for us thinkers and analyzers

So go hop on a bike, take the dog out for a walk, or crank up the stereo and boogie up a storm in the living room - youll feel better as a result!

Esther Kane, MSW, Registered Clinical Counsellor, is the author of Dump That Chump: A Ten-Step Plan for Ending Bad Relationships and Attracting the Fabulous Partner You Deserve http://www.dumpthatchump.com, and What Your Mama Cant or Wont Teach You: Grown Womens Stories of Their Teen Years http://www.guidebooktowomanhood.com Sign up for her free monthly e-zine, Womens Community Counsellor, to uplift and inspire women at: http://www.estherkane.com

Please consider this article for publication in your newsletter or website. Permission is granted to reprint for free with resource box and byline intact. Please send me a copy of your publication if you choose to include my article.

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Wii Games Rental

Renting Wii games has some advantages over renting other console games. If you were lucky enough to even get your hands on a Wii, your about to be a little bit lucky again.

If you've done any looking around at the different options for renting Wii games online, you've probably heard some of the pros and cons already. Likely the biggest complaint with most online game rental companies, is from customers who can't get the games they really want. The newest games to hit the market are usually just too popular for the game rental companies to keep up with.

But, if you dig a little further, you'll find that those customers having a hard time getting the newest games are almost all xbox, and xbox 360 customers. They just have bigger customer base, and are much harder for the companies to keep up with. The availability problem with the Wii, is not for the games, but for the Wii console itself. So, if your lucky enough to have a Wii, then you really shouldn't have a problem getting the games you want.

What this means, is that you should be able to rent all the newest, and most popular Wii games, for a very modest monthly fee. Renting games as a Wii player should actually live up to the hype the game rental companies have been promising all along. Unlike our xbox brethren, renting Wii games should be a lot more fun. But hey, Wii gamers already knew gaming is more about fun all along ;)

Yoga Cl And Nh